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BEB's random blatherings

好む室温をか。


Parenthood: A semi-irregular blog on being a Dad. Part XI: Watching them grow
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Been a LONG time since I took the time to blog here about parenthood.  Much too busy just being a parent. Plus as I mentioned in a blog before, twitter has largely replaced blogging as my dumping ground for some of the many random thoughts that bounce around in the nearly constant mental chatter in my grey matter (aka 'mokey mind').

The twins turned 7 months old recently...damn...how can the time fly by so quickly?? It's hard to capture in words everything we have gone through since the twins were born. It's been a wild and crazy ride at times.  Thinking Silas was going to die, Pauline & the twins in a ambulance ride mere hours after birth, 3 weeks in the NICU, many long sleep-deprived nights, enough diapers to full a New Jersey landfill (no, cloth diapers were out of the question!), and then of all things getting laid-off around the holidays, and then finding a new job @ HP. Now we have two more beautiful boys, each very healthy and happy, growing like proverbial weeds. The NICU seems like a surreal dream (the only nightmare was the first few hours after they were born and we didn't know what was going to happen).  

While it's a hell of lot of work at times (with 3 much moreso than with just Cosmo), overall I wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, at least not permanently. ;) Sometimes we do long for the days where a simple trip to the store is a major undertaking. But those feelings dissolve once I see the twins grin ear-to-ear, or giggle, or feel a swell of fatherly pride when Cosmo can name 30-40 different bugs by sight ("Blue Morpho!", "longhorn beetle", "Aphid", etc, etc.) See him  in action here. He  LOVES bugs. He talks about the "bug parties" that happen under rocks, and catches many box elders in the back yard and marvels at both his ability as a bugcatcher, and the wiggling feet and antenna of the poor bug who often ends up getting squished when Cosmo gets too enthusiastic. 

I have long been a student of human psychology, and having kids is one of the best ways to learn about and observe developmental psychology, and the innate curiosity that clearly  goes back long into our biologic history, woven into the very fabric of our biological selves (via DNA).  Both the twins and Cosmo make these psychological quantum-leaps in their cognitive & emotional development. And of any student of Noam Chomsky's linguistic theories knows, we are hard-wired for amazingly rapid language acquisition.  Cosmo's vocabulary, as well as his ability to understand and respond to relatively complex concepts never ceases to amaze me.  Of course part of me can't wait for him to be old enough to appreciate the complex beauty of art & mathematics, the nutty plot-twists of a Tom Robbin's novel, or to revel in the geek-joy of watching Star Wars for the first time as a pre-teen. But for now I just love seeing them grow and learn.

No doubt about it our kids will likely tend to be a bit geeky, given our natures are parents, but we also are aiming to try and instill more self-confidence than either of us had as children (in part due to genetics and in part to our parents mistakes). But it's so easy to think you can do things better, and end up still making the same mistakes that many parents make: Giving in to whining, loosing one's temper and shouting, etc, etc.    Focusing on all the aspects, the good and the bad are a valuable learning experience, when we I let it.

As I posted to twitter/Facebook recently: I love being a dad.  And I do.  As I have said before, being a parent is at the same time the most rewarding, and the most challenging thing I've ever done.

I also don't recommend kids to those who really aren't ready to be parents.  But I also know to some extent, I could have never been fully ready...

-beb

PS since i lost my job @ WisdomTools, I have moved all my photos of the kids to my Flickr account:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bebfoo/sets/72157613714116223/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bebfoo/sets/72157613732218460/


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A Ritual to Read to Each Other
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A Ritual to Read to Each Other

by William Stafford

If you don't know the kind of person I am
and I don't know the kind of person you are
a pattern that others made may prevail in the world
and following the wrong god home we may miss our star.

For there is many a small betrayal in the mind,
a shrug that lets the fragile sequence break
sending with shouts the horrible errors of childhood
storming out to play through the broken dyke.

And as elephants parade holding each elephant's tail,
but if one wanders the circus won't find the park,
I call it cruel and maybe the root of all cruelty
to know what occurs but not recognize the fact.

And so I appeal to a voice, to something shadowy,
a remote important region in all who talk:
though we could fool each other, we should consider--
lest the parade of our mutual life get lost in the dark.

For it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to sleep;
the signals we give--yes or no, or maybe--
should be clear: the darkness around us is deep.

Short update on fatherhood, life
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Damn. I really let months roll by before I find/make the time to blog here. Plus my use of Twitter satisfies most of my blog urges, just on the microblog scale. Plus Twitter forces me to be much more succinct; as you know if you read my past blog entries, I tend to be rather verbose!

I am hoping i can find the motivation to blog here about farherhood more often, as I enjoy looking back and having some documentation (other than the many photis I take).

The twins turned 3 months old this week. It seems like a blur of time in the NICU, lots if sleep-dep, and little moments of joy. They have both started smiling recently, which is wonderful to see. And Silas has started cooing, which is cute and amusing. Finn is the silent observant one. Silas is the one who goes from happy as a clam to screaming bloody murder at the drop of a hat. The kid is LOUD! Cosmo is a great older brother (he is nearly 2.5, and we are working on potty training. Not for the faint if heart!!)

---

I recently found out I am being laid off, after 11 years in the same company. I'll likely write more about that later. Job hunting sucks, especially in this economy. But I have some good potential opportunities. Hopfefully more news on that soon...

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Why I am excited about Barack Obama
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This is a blog inspired by a "tweet" I saw posted via Twitter by @corey_smith, where he asked "I still can't figure out why people are so enamored with Barrack Obama. I get not liking McCain but being in love with Obama? I don't get it." So this answers that, as well as why I was not at all happy about McCain (a guy I said I would vote for back in 2000, but who has gone off the deep in the past few years).

I love twitter, and was going to just reply there, but I think this is one case where the 140 character limit of tweets makes it difficult to capture what I want to say. Plus I am pretty damn wordy in general, I fully confess. And I have a lot to say. So you are warned. :)

Keep in mind I am normally not one to "drink the kool aide" and get super excited about politicians. I wasn't a huge fan of Bill Clinton (but did admire his oratory skills and for how he turned the largest deficit in history into the largest budget surplus in history), nor of Al Gore. I voted for Nader, largely out of idealism and wanting to see a break from the two-party stranglehold on Washington. So it really means a lot to me that I have found myself getting so excited by Barack Obama way back in 2004 when I first heard of him and saw his powerful speech at the DNC, and that I am even more excited now.

So, to cut to the chase, just why are people like me are so enamored and/or excited by Obama:

  • His intelligence and making smart choices
  • His levelheaded, calm rationality
  • His oratory skills and ability to inspire
  • His smart pick for VP, and soon to be his administration
  • His experience
  • His plans to make the Whitehouse more transparent
  • His innovative and progressive use of technology
  • His diplomacy philosophy
  • His compassion and community building
  • He is a uniter of people across party lines
  • His economic plan
  • His energy plans
  • His environmental plans

More detail on each of these items:

His intelligence: He's perhaps the most intelligent president we've had in a long time. And by intelligent I don't just mean mere intellectual intelligence (IQ) but a wide variety of intelligences: linguistic, logical-mathematical, interpersonal and intrapersonal (ala Howard Gardner's Theory of multiple intelligences), but it's clear to anyone who bothers to actually listen to Obama talk about a wide variety of subjects that this guy is sharp as a tack. He graduated from Harvard in the top of his class. Not that intelligence alone makes for a great president: Intelligence is necessary but not sufficient. (BTW: I actually think that George W. Bush isn't as stupid as some seem to think, but instead is more a really bad combination of arrogant and ignorant. I mean he didn't actually read the news, and frequently ignored really good advice from his brain-trust, instead shooting from the hip, and being more of a puppet for Dick Cheney and the neocons who totally hijacked the GOP in the early 1990's.)
His levelheaded, calm rationality: While some people seem to think he can be a bit too "cool headed" at times, I think in this day and age, we need a leader who is calm, cool, and collected. Someone who isn't quick to make snap comments and judgments (like McCain is notorious for, and "W" as well). Rationality is a virtue for good leaders. Thinking calmly and deeply about important decisions is an asset for the leader of the most powerful nation on earth. Obama has shown he can not be easily put into reactionary mode. He will be a "calm, steady hand at the wheel".

His oratory skills and ability to inspire: Even Obama's harshest critics have to concede he is an amazing speaker, eloquent and able to inspire. The fact he went from a little-known senator to president-elect in 4 years is in large part to his natural ability as a skilled orator. He knows how to talk well, both to large audiences and individuals. His speech at the 2004 DNC was inspiring. His "A More Perfect Union" speech on race in America, was brilliant: the most moving, honest, and effective public speech on race of any since Martin Luther King. Obama is a very inspiring person, one whose personal story has shown that the seemingly impossible is possible.


His smart pick for VP, and soon to be his administration : Like or dislike Joe Biden, you have to concur the guy has a very strong foreign relations background, and knows a ton about Washington. He could serve as a good president, if he had to. Then let's compare that the McCain's utterly disastrous, highly political, and definitely NOT in the spirit of "Country First" pick of Sarah Palin. The woman is completely unqualified to be president, and many many top conservatives strongly agree. David Brooks said Palin "Represents A Fatal Cancer To The Republican Party." You can't get much harsher than that from a guy like Brooks. If anyone reading this thinks that Palin would be good for America as president, you need to seriously consider how blinded by your own ideology you may be. I mean the woman didn't know what Hamas was, had little understanding of what the real role of the VP is, couldn't name a single magazine or paper she read, and even didn't know that Africa was a continent, nor who were members of NAFTA!! The list of what Palin does not understand that would be required of her to lead the US is staggering. Not really, it's scary! Obama's pick of Biden was was much smarter and good for both him and the country, it's not even funny. McCain should have gone with Tom Ridge, Dick Lugar, or Joe Lieberman. I do understand why the RNC machine thought the Palin pick might help "rally the base" enough to win, but what a disaster that choice turned out to be. Stupid, just plain stupid move that didn't work either.

And within one day of his winning the election, he was working furiously to put together a kick-ass team for his administration, with Democrats and Republicans alike going into the possible short lists for his brain trust. Compre this to Bush/Cheney who surrounded themselves with yes-men and people who all told Bush what he wanted to hear (and he would ignore them if they told him something that contradicted his pre-made decisions.)


His experience: This is the one area that is the most legitimate point of concern for Obama critics, that he doesn't have enough experience leading a state politically (i.e. governor) or militarily. Would it better if he had been governor of a state? Sure. What this ignores is the strong and effective leadership experience he does actually have. Obama was elected as the president of the Harvard Law Review, one of the most prestigious and respected role in the world of law and academia. Others in this role have gone on to become Supreme Court justices (as Obama could have if he hadn't decided to go back to helping people and transforming communities as a community organizer in Chicago). And many who speak of Obama's time at the Harvard Law Review say what a great leader, and unifying voice he was. And despite the snide, mocking, and disparaging remarks Sarah Palin and Rudy Juliani made about Obama's time as a community organizer, anyone who has actually spent any time with actually observing someone who is a really good community organizer knows that it takes phenomenal leadership skills to do it well. It's not an easy job, and requires keen political skills. His role as State legislator and Senator further solidifies his experience. And perhaps the best example of his recent powerful, effective leadership is running his own campaign for president. Even his critics have conceded that he has run one of the most effective and well-run campaigns ever.


His plans to make the Whitehouse more transparent: Of course some presidential information needs to be secret. But the Bush administration has been one of the worst in terms of secrecy, making more documents classified (many retroactively) than nearly any other administration, and denying Americans their legal right to information. Obama's plan on ethics and accountability is to scale back un-needed closed-door decisions, fix the PATRIOT act, and expand the ability of citizens to request information via the Freedom of Information Act. To quote directly from Obama's plan:

The American people deserve to know what their government does and why. Ours is an open
government, and our ability to understand our government at work--the freedom of information we enjoy--has been copied by other countries around the world. The Freedom of Information Act is a pillar of our open government. Unfortunately, in recent years our government has failed to keep the American people informed about what it was doing and why, and it has refused to provide Americans with information they are entitled to by law. Turning our tradition of free information upside down, the Bush administration has instructed agencies to presume citizens are not entitled to information unless they are willing to sue for it. Barack Obama would restore the tradition of free information by issuing an Executive Order that information should be released unless an agency reasonably foresees harm to a protected interest.


His innovative and progressive use of technology: Obama's campaign sets a new standard for intelligent & innovative use of technology in fund-raising, sharing information, blogs, YouTube videos (posted sometimes minutes after they were taken), Twitter updates of interest, etc. Plus his website was well designed, clean, easy to use, and chock full O' good data. And they ran it on Apache and other open source tech. +10 geekpoints! Obama is being called the first social networking president, and has made use of social networks like Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, Twitter, and others in order to organize, get out the vote, raise funds, network, etc. And it's clear this won't stop now that he is president-elect, and soon to be president. He says he will be doing "virtual fireside chats" with citizens, and already has a website that just went live for sharing ideas and fulfilling his promise of open government: change.govAll this is really impressive, and points the way to a whole new way of governing, and for citizens to interact with their leaders. Plus it potentially bodes well for the future of IT in America, and the "democratization of tech."


His diplomacy philosophy: Obama can mend the damage done to the reputation of the US in the world. The world is behind Obama by a huge majority (The Economist Global Electoral College has Obama winning the global-elecoral college votes by 9,115 to McCain's 203, or 81% to 19%!! If you think that what the rest of the world thinks about our president doesn't matter, than you are sadly mistaken and naive. Bush/Cheney have done more to tarnish the reputation of the US abroad than any other administration in decades, perhaps ever. Obama has the will and intention of rebuilding the image of the US that has been trashed by 8 years of "shock and awe", torture, unwillingness to enter into peaceful negotiations, and downright ham-fisted arrogance of the Bush administration. He is willing, and I believe more than capable of delicate diplomacy with both our allies and enemies alike. Obama's plan is much closer to NATO's and General Petraeus' than McCain's. Diplomacy is going to be even more important in the world


His compassion and community building:It is clear from Obama experience, as well as the way he speaks, that he is man of compassion. It is also clear that Obama actually cares about common people, as opposed to paying mere lip service that so many politicians do. While he could have easily gone on to be a high ranking justice or highly-paid lawyer, he chose to help with employment training services, playgrounds, after-school programs, school reforms, etc. "Virtually everyone described him in glowing terms, including dedicated, hard-working, dependable, intelligent, inspiring, a good listener, confident but self-effacing. They expressed admiration for him as an organizer who trained strong community leaders while keeping himself in the background and as a strategist who could turn general problems into specific, winnable issues." (from this Nation article)
He is a uniter of people across party lines: His decisive victory as president-elect shows this, as does the fact that many republicans and conservative newspapers and magazine "crossed over" and endorsed him. The very well respected republican, and Bush Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman, General Colin Powell gave an eloquent, forceful, and extremely well-reasoned endorsement of Obama: "He has both style and substance. I think he is a transformational figure," Powell said on NBC's Meet the Press, also saying: "I come to the conclusion that because of his ability to inspire, because of the inclusive nature of his campaign, because he is reaching out all across America, because of who he is and his rhetorical abilities -- and you have to take that into account -- as well as his substance -- he has both style and substance," Powell said. "He has met the standard of being a successful president, being an exceptional president." Other praise, or outright endorsements of Obama from conservatives include:
  • The Economist (highly recommend you read it)
  • The Financial Times: "This ought to have been a close call. With a week remaining before the election, we cannot feel that it is. A campaign is a test of leadership. Mr Obama ran his superbly; Mr McCain’s has often looked a shambles... We applaud [Obama's] main domestic proposal: comprehensive health-care reform. This plan would achieve nearly universal insurance without the mandates of rival schemes: characteristically, it combines a far-sighted goal with moderation in the method."
  • Peggy Noonan: "He [Obama] has within him the possibility to change the direction and tone of American foreign policy, which need changing; his rise will serve as a practical rebuke to the past five years, which need rebuking; his victory would provide a fresh start in a nation in which a fresh start would come as a national relief."
  • The Chicago Tribune, which has NEVER EVER endorsed a Democrat in its 160 year history, until Obama, who they said of "We know first-hand that Obama seeks out and listens carefully and respectfully to people who disagree with him. He builds consensus.... He has risen with his honor, grace and civility intact. He has the intelligence to understand the grave economic and national security risks that face us, to listen to good advice and make careful decisions.When Obama said at the 2004 Democratic Convention that we weren't a nation of red states and blue states, he spoke of union the way Abraham Lincoln did.... We are proud to add Barack Obama's name to Lincoln's in the list of people the Tribune has endorsed for president of the United States."
  • Scott McClellan, W. Bush's first press secretary, and life-long Republican.
  • Richard Lugar: "[Obama] correctly cautions against the implication that hostile nations must be dealt with almost exclusively through isolation or military force. In some cases, refusing to talk can even be dangerous.”
(list taken from this blog)
His economic plan: Yes, knee-jerk conservatives have loved to cry and whine that Obama is a "socialist" and/or "Marxist", but anyone who actually looks at the truth of this will see these are vacuous and silly comments. Yes he made the often-quoted statement telling Joe the plumber he wants to ""spread the wealth around", and I'll admit this was a dumb move to utter such a statement. But the truth is he merely supports the same tax levels that were around when Bill Clinton was president, which was one of the most economically prosperous times in the history of America, and reversed the 12 years of Reagan era "trickle-down" economics and turning the largest deficit in history into the largest budget surplus in history. Obama wants to cut taxes for the middle class, and eliminate the tax cut that W. Bush put in place for the rich. And he supports progressive taxation, which was put in place by McCain's hero, Teddy Roosevelt, and strongly supported by Reagan and many other conservatives. And as far as tax and Obama being a socialist, Colin Powell said it best: "Taxes are always a redistribution of money. Most of the taxes that are redistributed go back to those who pay it -- in roads and airports and hospitals and schools -- and taxes are necessary for the common good, and there's nothing wrong with examining what our tax structure is and who should be paying more, who should be paying less. And for us to say that makes you a socialist I think is an unfortunate characterization and is inaccurate,"
His energy plans: Obama has a well-reasoned plan to achieve independence on oil from the Middle-East, make real progress on energy conservation and "green" power technology (Bush/Cheney were total whores to the oil industry, and fought any real energy reform tooth-and-nail).
His environmental plans: Obama wants to make the USA a leader on climate change, and reduce our greenhouse gas emissions 80% by 2050, instead of the pathetic foot-dragging and anti-science attitudes from the Bush administration, many of whom are in complete denial about the impending crisis of global warming (I'm sorry, you have to be a complete and utter fool to think global warming isn't a real and serious threat to the future of humanity).

So this is my long-winded, but hopefully fairly comprehensive list of things that excite me about Obama becoming president.

Now for a list of some things I am concerned about Obama:

  1. The fact he voted to protect big telco from lawsuits due to their illegal spying on US citizens with the FISA bill.
  2. Obama's somewhat brazen and bellicose statements about sending troops into Pakistan to hunt down Al Queda, with ot without the support of Pakistan. That seems like it might be a bad move to me. We'll see if he follows through.
  3. That many racist wingnuts will be trying to kill or harm him or his family.
  4. That the mess Bush got us in will take much longer to dig out of than expected, and we won't have the reserves to spend on things like universal health care, clean energy, better schools, etc.

I need to blog more here...
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Does anyone read these?

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Silas sleeps
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